Flamin'
by schwartzibrow
Summary: What if Mia forgave Josh for the Cultural Diversity Dance incident? Michael and Lilly are pissed, but Mia plans to prove them wrong about Josh. But can she? Dedicated to Juju!
1. Change of Heart

[Woot. A new story. It might seem a little ordinary at first, but you have no idea.]

Flamin'

Chapter One

Michael Moscovitz is my hero. Last night, when I thought I was in love with Josh Richter, he made me see sense. I wasn't in love with that thug. Like Michael said, "He may be the hottest guy in school, and he might have a nice bod, but he's a jerk. You can do better than that."

And I _can _do better than that. Not that I think I could get Michael Moscovitz of course. Ha! But I can get a boyfriend who isn't just using me for publicity... I hope.

Ah, who am I kidding? Josh Richter was the best guy I could ever get. Sure he may be a jerk, but he was a nice jerk. At least he was when we were on our date. Until he kissed me in front of the cameras of course. But that was just one mistake, right? I mean, he'd never do that again now that he knows that I don't want him to do that. In front of the cameras, I mean. He can kiss me away from the cameras all he likes.

Thinking that maybe he might take me back, I picked up the phone and dialed his house phone.

"Hello?" a slightly groggy voice answered.

"Hello. May I please speak to Josh?"

"Speaking," he drawled. Uh oh, he sounds like he's nursing a major hangover.

"Oh, hi, Josh. It's Mia here. Um, I just wanted to talk about last night..." he didn't say anything so I continued. "You see, I didn't really appreciate you kissing me in front of the cameras like that, but I was thinking, maybe if you want, we could try it again. Only with no cameras around..."

Since when did I get so upfront? Usually I'd never call a guy to ask him out. Grandmere would eat me alive if she knew about this. But I really like Josh; I don't want to lose him because of some little mistake he made.

"Uh, sure, Mia. That'd be sweet. I mean, that'd be real cool. I'm really sorry about last night; I hope you can forgive me."

I let out a huge sigh of relief. Phew. "Of course I can, Josh. So do you want to go out tonight then?"

"Sure. I'll come pick you up at about seven?"

"Great. I'll see you then."

I hung up the phone feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I'm still dating Josh Richter!!! I have to tell someone! I'm so glad Lilly and I made friends again last night. Now I can tell her. I know she agreed with Michael about Josh being a jerk, but I'll make her see he's not.

Michael answered the phone. "Michael! Guess what?"

"What, Thermopolis?"

"Josh and I are back together!"

"What? What did I tell you last night, Mia? He's a jerk, and he doesn't deserve you. You're too good for him."

Ha, yeah right.

"No he's not. It was all a mistake last night. He apologised and I forgave him. It's all good now."

"God, Mia. Are you thick?"

"No, I am not, Michael. And I don't appreciate your demeanor."

"Well that's too bad. Because you are thick of you think Josh isn't just going to use you again. Because he will. I thought I made you see the light last night? Now you've just changed your mind?"

"No, you had some good points last night, Michael. But I've thought it all over, and what he did wasn't that bad. And he's learnt from his mistake now. Believe me, things can only get better from now on."

"Oh, Mia, you are a fool if you believe that."

I sighed, realising there was no point trying to convince Michael of Josh's change. What does Michael's opinion matter anyway? I know I said he was my hero earlier, but I think now I've changed my mind. And that two minute crush I had on him is so over. Especially now that I have Josh back. My boyfriend Josh. It feels so good to say that.

"Can you just put Lilly on the phone, please?" I asked him.

He didn't reply. I guess he's a little sour at me. He just threw the phone at Lilly. Seriously, I heard her yelp.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lil! Guess what?"

"I'm guessing it's not good since my brother stormed off to his room."

"Yeah, well he's just an idiot. It _is _good. I got back with Josh!"

"What?" Lilly's response was almost identical to Michael's. What's wrong with them? Can't they just be happy for me? Is it something in the Moscovitz genes that says they can't be happy for me? Or is it something against Josh?

"Yes, Lil. He apologised and I forgave him. We're going out tonight."

"Jeez, no wonder Michael stormed off. Why did you forgive him, Mia? Don't you remember what he did to you? How embarrassed you were? You didn't come out of the bathroom for ages. I thought Michael had some good influence on you last night, but obviously not."

"You're making Josh out to be like a murderer or something. Yes I remember what he did last night, it was a mistake. And mistakes can be forgiven. Don't be angry at me about this, Lil. We only just became friends again."

"I know," she said with a long pause. "But I don't know if this will ruin our friendship..."

"What? Why would it? Why does it matter if I'm dating Josh or not?"

"I don't want to be best friends with a Lana-Wannabe, Mia. And that's what you'll turn into."

"That's not fair, Lilly. You're judging me on my boyfriend. How would you like it if I judged you on Boris?"

"What's wrong with Boris?" Lilly sounded hurt.

"Please," I said, exasperated. How can she not see how he tucks his sweater into his pants?

"Look, Mia. You might not be able to see past Josh's washboard abs and his chiselled features, but I can. And I can see your demise. He's no good."

I gulped. What is wrong with these people? "You're wrong," I said strongly.

"Then prove it to me," she replied, hanging up the phone.

Oh, I will prove it.

[Will Mia snap out of her senses any time soon? Maybe if you review.]


	2. Breaking and Entering

Chapter Two

He was obviously completely and utterly wrong.

Michael, that is.

I mean, that's totally ridiculous for him to think that _I'm _too good for Josh. I mean, I'm not the hottest girl ever (or hot at all, for that matter), I'm like extremely unpopular here, while people practically worship Josh.

Seriously. He has a fan club. How unfair is that?

But you want to know the coolest thing about Josh?

HE LIKES ME!

Actually, that's probably not very cool for him at all. But who cares?

The cutest, most popular boy EVER is my boyfriend. Officially. We even did the whole 'walk around the school holding hands thing'. He walks me to my classes. Carries my books in between classes. And gets me whatever I want from the salad bar at lunch time (as he balances his meat-laden tray on the other arm)!

The Moscovitzes have no idea what they're talking about. Just because Josh got a teensy drunk that one time and had an error in judgement, doesn't mean he's the worst person ever.

In fact, he's actually a pretty good guy.

A guy who's a pretty fantastic kisser. I know what you're thinking. But, no, I didn't _enjoy_ the very public, very embarrassing kiss he planted on me in front of the school doors. I'm talking about the kisses since then.

I'm not talking about the full-on making out that he and Lana used to do up against his locker. But for some reason, I don't think that would bother me too much. Maybe Josh is helping me to be more assertive.

Which is a good thing. Something Lilly never really succeeded at. Nor Michael. Though it's not like he spent all his time being my life coach or whatever. Sometimes he'd walk through the room with a bag of pretzels and defend me from Lilly or whatever when she'd be nagging me.

It's not even fair to compare Michael and Josh, though. I mean, yeah, both of them have straight A's and Michael's passably cute (especially when he's doing his Lilly impression behind her back. Making Lilly seem cute is no mean feat). But Josh has those gorgeous, soul-searching sapphire eyes. And what does Michael have?

Brown. Twinkly, brown, peat-bog eyes. Full of good humor and intelligence.

But it's not sapphire. And Michael has those floppy, messy curls instead of straight blonde hair that hangs over his bronze face and perfect irises.

See, you just can't compare them, because…you can't.

Whatever. I have to get ready for the movies. Josh and I are going to go see 'The Day After Tomorrow', which isn't really my thing. But Josh seems to like it. And the movie _does_ have Jake Gyllenhaal.

Michael says that Jake and Tobey Maguire bother him because they look too much alike. He told me his kind of guy is more of a Heath Ledger type. But Michael isn't a fan of pretty boys, like Josh Richter.

WHY AM I STILL GOING ON ABOUT MICHAEL?

Later

So Josh and I weren't the biggest hit with the other moviegoers. I mean, I usually don't like it when the people next to me are full-on making out, but I never jab them with my elbows like that one old lady did. Talk about rude.

It didn't even matter that I hate scary movies, because I was a little too busy swapping spit with my gorgeous boyfriend.

Does that sound shallow? Because I totally value Josh as a person. I mean, we both strongly believe that Lucky Charms rock. And he told me that he really wants to be a vegetarian, but right before his grandmother died, she called him to her side and made him swear to her that he would always eat burgers as a tribute to her (Josh says she was in charge of some sort of cattle ranch). How sweet is that! And it's another thing we have in common. Grandmere makes me eat meat sometimes when I don't want to!

Josh finally dropped me off back at the loft and walked me up for a good-night kiss (Frenching in the vestibule). I thought about telling him that my mom wasn't home (she was out with Mr. G), but I don't think I like Josh that much.

Well, maybe I do, but I'm not _ready _for that.

So I bade Josh farewell, stepped inside, and closed the door.

"Hey, Mia," said a familiar deep voice.

I screamed and turned to see Michael sitting on my couch and looking extremely amused. "How'd you get in here?" I squeaked, still breathing hard.

"Spare key under the mat. I heard you mention it to Lilly ages ago."

"Breaking and entering is against the law, you know."

"I didn't break anything," he said, still smiling. I hate when he smiles at me like that.

"Well, you still can't come into my apartment when I'm not here. What are you doing here anyway?"

He shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable for the first time. Good. Suffer, you idiot. "I thought maybe we could hang out. I brought over Star Wars," he said, holding up a tape.

And then my frigid heart melted just a little bit. He wasn't there to berate me for anything with Josh. He even had a peace offering (sort of).

So I made the popcorn, Michael put in the tape, and we hunkered down on the couch. I shivered (my mom enjoys keeping the apartment at a cool forty degrees) and he put an arm around me and smiled. "Better?"

And it was. Most definitely. Because even though Michael was kind of a jerk about the whole Josh thing, he really is a great guy most of the time.

I mean, he even apologized for the whole Josh thing and said it was none of his business. But before I could say anything, he told me to be quiet because Han Solo was on the screen. During the movie, though, I noticed Michael was looking kind of forlorn.

I squeezed his hand and he smiled a little bit.

Why can't dates with Josh be as fun as just hanging out with my friend's older brother?


	3. Tarnishing Popularity

Chapter Three...

Life is peachy. I'm not even bothered by the fact that Grandmere still makes me attend stupid Princess Lessons. Especially since I started dating Josh, because she's been so much nicer to me. I suppose all I ever needed to do was find a perfect, gorgeous boyfriend to get her off my back. Why didn't I think of it before?

Oh, maybe because I thought it was impossible for that to ever happen. But now I know that that's not true. Because my boyfriend is perfect. And he is gorgeous.

Josh and I have been officially dating for twelve days. That's almost two whole weeks! Are you supposed to get your boyfriend something for your two week anniversary? Or would that make me seem needy and clingy?

Maybe I'll just get him a little something to show how much I care. And since he's so devoted to me I bet he'll have something really romantic planned for us anyway.

My boyfriend is perfect. He really, really is.

"You want some?" he asked me at lunch time, offering me his half eaten hot dog.

I almost threw up when I caught a whiff of it, thrown right in my face. "Um, no thanks, Josh. I don't eat meat, remember?"

"Oh, right," he said, taking a bite of it himself. "I forgot." Bits of bread, meat and ketchup flew out of his mouth as he said it.

That's just great. I don't eat the stuff, but I don't mind being showered in it!

I patted myself off and didn't say anything about it. What would be the point? He'd just apologize, sending more food my way.

I turned back to my rice and salad, but I couldn't help but notice Michael was sitting with the rest of the Computer Club, looking like he'd just lost his limited edition Darth Vader figurine. I hope he hasn't, because that one's really rare!

Josh said something else, and I forgot all about Michael. I mean, who wants to worry about Michael when Josh is talking?

Later

Josh and I stepped out of Baskin Robbins. He had pistachio and I had mint chocolate chip.

"Can I try some of yours?" Josh asked me, already digging his spoon into mine.

"Uh, sure, I guess."

What's more romantic than sharing food in public? Especially ice cream. Maybe we could sit down and we could spoon feed each other.

"Mmm," Josh said. "That's better than mine. Here, let's swap."

Before I could object, since I don't particularly like pistachio, Josh had switched our cups and was devouring mine.

But that's ok. I don't mind.

As we started walking along Josh took my hand, I feel so proud. I mean, you should have seen the looks girls were giving me! These are really pretty, cheerleader types, like Lana, and they were jealous of me, Mia Thermopolis. Formally the girl no one had any reason to be jealous of, whatsoever.

Suddenly I spotted Michael Moscovitz up ahead. He was walking towards us with his friend Felix. But it didn't look like a very happy conversation, and I'm sure neither of them could have been as happy as me and Josh were anyway.

"...I dunno, man," I heard Felix mutter. "This is just a little weird... I'll see you around."

Felix ran off just as we reached them.

Josh made no effort to stop to talk to Michael, but I wanted to. I pulled his hand back and stopped walking.

"What's up, Michael? Are you ok?" I asked him. He looked really depressed.

Michael stopped walking and looked up, he hadn't even seen us. "Oh, hey. Um, nothing. Everything's fine."

Josh pulled on my hand and motioned that we should be leaving, but I wanted to stay. I want to make sure Michael's really ok. Josh can wait.

"Are you sure?"

Michael looked like he was going to cry. He looked over to Josh apprehensively, and then turned back to me. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just...I just have a lot of stuff going on right now."

"Okay," I said. Josh has let go of my hand and is teetering on the balls of his feet, motioning for me to come on. "But if you ever want to talk to me about it, you know you can."

"Thanks."

I smiled at him and looked back at Josh. He's really not very patient.

"What's your problem?" I asked him, once we'd moved off.

"I don't like that guy," Josh said, I noticed he hasn't made a move for my hand again.

"What guy? Michael? What's wrong with Michael?"

"He's a geek, Mia. He's in the Computer Club, and he watches Star Wars and geeky stuff like that."

"So?" I asked. I may not be smart enough to be in the Computer Club, especially since I can barely use a computer, but I like Star Wars too.

So I guess I'm somewhat of a geek. But I think dating Josh will give me a few, much needed brownie points with the A crowd.

"So? What do you mean so? I don't like to be seen with people like that. Do you know what that would do to my reputation?"

Does that mean dating me isn't tarnishing his popularity? Maybe I'm more popular than I thought!

"Well what about me?"

"What about you?" Josh took my hand back and I felt a lot better.

"I mean, aren't you worried that people will judge you because you're dating me?"

"Nah, it's cool," he said.

Smiling at my life once more, we continued on our way to the Loft, where we spent a good ten minutes confirming how much we like each other outside the door.


	4. A Little Peek

Chapter Four

It's nice to be on the Moscovitzes' good side again (not that the Drs. were ever pissed off at me or anything.)

I mean, Lilly invited me over tonight, and she hasn't said a word about me dating Josh. Which actually kind of sucks, because I really want someone to talk with about being Josh's girlfriend.

-Tina (not realistic enough. It's nice and all to discuss what color looks best on Josh and what kind of outfits compliment his bone structure. But sometimes, I think I need more).

-Lilly (too realistic. Might possibly squash my dreams of marrying Josh in the legendary ice hotel).

-Michael (too depressed. About what, I have yet to find out. He's avoiding me, I think. In fact, he's avoiding everyone)

-My mom (Yeah, right. She's just as bad as Tina at times)

But back to the whole Michael thing, it's getting sort of ridiculous. I haven't seen him at lunch in a week. He still helps me with my algebra during G&T, but he speaks so quietly that I can hardly hear him and won't talk about anything except math (Dear Lord in heaven, I would absolutely die if he was like this all the time).

I mentioned it to Lilly and she gave me a strange look. "Depressed, you say?" She shoved a handful of Cheetos into her mouth.

"Yeah, and I can't figure out why. Do you know if something happened?"

She shrugged unconvincingly. "Nothing that he told me about."

But that doesn't really narrow down the field, as Michael doesn't tell her anything at all if he can help out.

Lilly had a strange look on her face, though, and refused to talk about it any more.

That night we watched 'Rebel without a Cause' in the den with a huge bowl of popcorn between us. Halfway through, I noticed Michael leaning against the doorway and watching the screen intently, still looking rather moody. Kind of like James Dean.

Lilly fell asleep before the movie was over, so I turned off the television and snuck down the hall to Michael's room. The light was off, but I could see him sitting at his computer, so I knocked on the side of the door.

He looked up expectantly and even smiled a little. "Hey, Thermopolis."

"Hey, Michael," I said, stepping into the room a little further. "Whatcha doin'?"

Shrugging, he gestured towards the computer screen. "I can't sleep, so I was on this 'What Would Uncle Jesse Do?' website. It's hysterical. Wanna see it?"

I nodded and he scooted over to make room for me on his chair. To my surprise (and secret delight), he put his arm around my waist to keep in place on the chair as we looked at the site together.

I guess I must've fallen asleep sometime during all this, because when I woke up in the morning, I was lying in Michael's bed, and he was nowhere in sight. I took the opportunity to glance around his room.

He had a Weezer poster on his closet door and a stack of Beatles' CDs laying on his nightstand next to his fish clock and a little book covered with Star Wars stickers.

I picked up the book and started to flip through it, recognizing Michael's handwriting. A journal. _A journal!_

But I respect Michael's privacy. Totally and completely. It's just as I was closing it, my eyes locked on one passage.

_So I told Felix about everything and he freaked out on me. Am I suddenly this horrible person now? Some kind of social leper? I guess that's the way he sees it. All I know is I should've never told him. What if he tells someone? _

_The point is, now I have no one to talk to. T seemed promising, but she's too busy hanging around her dumbass jock of a boyfriend. It's guys like him who make all of this shit so hard._

"Mia?" said a deep voice harshly. I slammed the journal shut and stuck it haphazardly back on the nightstand, looking up to see a wide-eyed Michael. "Were you just--? Did you see--" He seemed unable to finish his sentence. "Oh, God," he muttered his breath. "Jesus Christ on a cross."

"Michael, what's the matter?" I asked carefully. I mean, yeah. I understood why he would be pissed that I read his journal. But it's no cause to hyperventilate.

He swallowed. "What did you read in there?"

"Something about Felix and lepers?"

Michael looked relieved for about two seconds before his face screwed up in anger. "What the hell are you doing looking through my private things?"

"I didn't mean to!" I yelled back. "And you shouldn't just leave something like that on a nightstand. I hide mine under my mattress at night." I clapped my hands over my mouth and Michael looked at me for a minute before chuckling.

"I'm not going to raid your room looking for your precious diary, if that's what you think," he snarled, but there was a little twinkle in his eye. "_I _have respect for other people's property."

"Then why did you destroy Lilly's Talking Family dollhouse by submerging it in the bathtub."

A smile flitted across his face. "I was only trying to clean it!" he exclaimed, picking a pillow up from the ground and tossing it at me.

I caught it neatly and bit my lip. "I really wasn't trying to pry, Michael. So don't be all pissed at me."

He shook his head gently. "I'm not pissed. In fact, Lilly headed off with Boris and a video camera to wreak havoc (though I have a feeling Boris will cause much more trouble than she originally intended). Do you want to go get lunch somewhere?"

"It's lunchtime already?"

"Yeah, sleepy-head. Don't worry, I know how comfortable my bed is."

I tossed the pillow into his stomach. "So where did you sleep? The couch?"

"Nope," he said, walking to the door. "I slept in here with you." And with that he walked out.

I stared after him, more than a little upset that I had just spent my first night with a boy and didn't realize it. A boy who isn't my boyfriend and never will be.

How quaint.


	5. Compassion for the Underprivileged

Chapter Five...

I think Michael Moscovitz might like me!

Seriously. I know it's bizarre, I mean, a few weeks ago I thought it was impossible for anyone to like me, what with my ski-like feet and skyscraper height, not to mention my surfboard chest, but then Josh happened. So it could very well be true!

I know if I'd caught anyone looking in my diary, I wouldn't have been very happy. In fact, I'd have absolutely hated said person for snooping in my private life. Some people may not find entries about how nice and soft my boyfriend's golden locks are, or how sweet and smart Michael Moscovitz is, very interesting, or worthy of snooping in the first place, but I'd still be upset!

But, should I do anything about Michael? I'm dating Josh, and I shouldn't take things like that for granted. Lana did, and now she's lonely. I kind of feel bad for her sometimes, but then I remember all the things she's done to me before, and I snap out of it. So I should totally appreciate and value my position as Josh's girlfriend, and I do. I totally do, but it's just...Michael might be more my type.

I know he's a geek, and Josh made a big deal about not wanting to be seen with him, but I guess some people would call me a geek. Okay, that's an understatement. Most people would call me a geek. So should Michael and I, as geeks, band together against people like Josh? Or should I just stick with Josh and see where it goes?

He is the hottest guy in the school after all, and you don't just dump someone like that for no good reason. Although, Michael would argue that that whole photo thing at the school dance was a good enough reason to break up with him. But that's old. I can't just bring up the past and use it as a reason not to be with him, that wouldn't be fair, right?

And what was with what Michael had written in his diary? He said something about guys like Josh making things for him hard. But what was he talking about? Why would he be labeled a social leper? Michael is anything but a leper. Especially with those pretty boy good looks.

Maybe I should try to talk to him about whatever it is. He might be able to help me out with my problems too. Although, of course, I won't tell him that I think he might like me. What if I'm completely wrong about that?

And it's not as if I even have feelings for him, right? I mean, I'm totally and completely head over heels for Josh... Although he can be a superficial ass some of the time. And his hair isn't actually even all that soft, not with all of the product he lathers into it. I think he's been getting tips from those guys in Rooney. Too bad it's not working out for him as well as it works for them.

And now that I think about it, the other day, when we were strolling through Central Park, hand in hand, of course, I wanted to stop to give an old, homeless man the rest of my sandwich, but Josh pulled me away quicker than you can say, "I want Taylor Locke's hair." How's that for compassion for the underprivileged? What would Josh be like if we ended up getting married, and he had to move to Genovia? Would he support me with my plan to turn the Palace into a cat shelter once Grandmere croaks? Or would he be too busy looking at himself in the giant, ruby-encrusted mirrors that line the hallways?

I bet Michael would support something that was for the good of others.

And he wouldn't make it feel like a big chore, he'd be happy to do it.

That's it. I need to talk to him about this before my head explodes, all over my new Chanel sweater. God forbid!

"Thermopolis? Are you okay?"

I looked up from my cold sesame noodles. I'd been spacing out the whole time I've been sitting eating lunch with Michael! What a waste of time, I could have been sussing things out already!

"Yeah, I'm fine. How are you? I mean, you've been a little...quiet recently. Is everything okay?"

He sighed and reached over the table to take my hand. "Yeah, everything will be fine. I'm just going through some stuff right now."

"Anything you want to talk about?" I pushed, not removing my hand. That could be a sign, right?

"Not right now. Now I'm just enjoying being in your company." He flashed me one of his million dollar smiles.

"Okay." How do I get him to open up about what's troubling him? Or at least get him to confess his undying love for me!

"Is there anything troubling you though? You know you can always talk to me about it, of you want."

It's almost too easy.

"Yeah, actually. Lately I've been thinking of Josh and me..."

Michael grunted. "What about him?"

"Well, I'm thinking that maybe...I don't like him as much as I though I did. I mean, he can be a real ass sometimes."

"So you finally noticed," Michael said, squeezing the hand he still had hold of.

"Yeah, I'm starting to notice things now..."

"So what are you going to do about it? Try to change him?"

"No, I don't think you could ever change a person like Josh. I don't think he'd listen to me. Or he wouldn't take heed anyway."

"So...You're going to break up with him?"

Is it just my imagination, or did I just sense a note of happiness in his voice? And did I just see a smile creep along the edges of his mouth?

"I'm thinking about it. Do you think that would be a good idea?"

Now I know I'm not imagining it, he's smiling broadly. "Are you kidding? I think it'd be your best idea to date. He's not right for you, Mia, you deserve so much more. You deserve a guy who's going to support you, and cherish you, and love you the way you deserve to be loved. Everyone deserves a guy like that."

How sweet! Could he be the one to do all that? Is that what he's implying?

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Michael. You've really helped me. I just wish I could help you with whatever it is that you're having problems with right now."

He looked away and dragged his hand back. Did I say the wrong thing? I was just trying to be supportive! Like he'd been for me.

"Yeah, well, maybe another time."

I recoiled. He's obviously not ready to talk about it. "Okay, well, if you ever need to talk to someone about it, I'll be here for you."

"Thanks, Thermopolis. Now go break up with that loser."

"Yes, sir!" I mocked. "Do you want to...I dunno, maybe hang out later? We could celebrate my being free of Josh, or whatever."

"Sure, that'd be great."

"Okay, I'll see you later."


	6. Gabe's Steak Pit

[Thanks to all the reviewers! You guys are the best. For serious.]

Chapter Six

Josh and I went out again tonight. I suggested bowling, but he shot it down saying it was only for the 'extremely lame.'

I have to admit, I took offense to that. I've been bowling with the Moscovitzes countless times and it most certainly is not lame. Another reason why I'm breaking it off with Josh tonight.

If he would only stop eating and listen to me. He took me out to dinner. And not just any old dinner either.

_Gabe's Steak Pit_.

For a guy who really hates meat, he sure doesn't show any signs of it. You may be wondering what sort of vegetarian menu 'Gabe's' offers.

Let me tell you, it's slim pickings.

So I just sat there nibbling at some fries while Josh attempted to break the record of 'most cattle consumed in one sitting.'

"Josh?" I asked timidly. Partly because I was about to throw up, and partly because I feared his appetite would extend to fourteen year old girls.

"Mmm?" He wiped his mouth and let out a little belch. Can we say 'ew'?

"Uh, can we talk?"

"About what?" he asked, looking a mite confused. I think talking is low on Josh's list of things to do with his mouth. Eating, kissing, and belching most definitely rank above it.

"About…this. Us, I mean."

"Us?" he echoed, looking as if the gears in his head were working pretty hard. "Whaddaya mean?"

"Uh…" I swallowed. Breaking up with one of such great physical perfection is a little harder than I thought. Though the fact that mid-meal, Josh's beauty was somewhat diminished by the wild look in his eye and the chunk of meat in his molars. And I had a small feeling that all the barbecue sauce on his lips would _not_ enhance the kissing experience. "Maybeweshouldn'tgooutanymore."

He grabbed the unused napkin off the table and used it to blow his nose. "Excuse me?"

"This isn't working," I said slowly, giving him a meaningful look. It took him a second, but he finally got the gist.

"Not working?"

"Right." Must he repeat everything I say?

"Bullshit," he said scathingly. "You can't be breaking up with me."

Oh, yeah? Who does he think he is? "But I am. It's over, Josh."

"You're joking!" he shouted, causing other diners to turn and stare. Jesus Christ.

"Nope, I'm totally serious," I said quietly, grabbing my purse and standing up.

"B-but, Mia, I love you!"

I spun around and stared at him. "You don't love me," I sputtered. "How could you? You don't even know me."

Tired of all his retarded excuses, I hurried out of there to the Moscovitzes, where I knew there'd be someone to talk to.

I met Michael in the lobby of his apartment building, heading for the door. But he stopped when he saw me. "Thermopolis," he said, breaking into a grin. "Is the deed done?"

I nodded, grinning. "Yup. So where were you headed?"

He looked kind of sheepish. "Um, there was this bar…but I'm not gonna go. We have to celebrate the Grand Dump, right?" He chuckled. "That sounded kind of gross, didn't it?"

I giggled and he wrapped an arm around me, ushering me into the elevator.

A few minutes later, after it had been determined that Lilly was out with Boris, we were sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, watching Moulin Rouge. Seriously.

I didn't even know Michael liked this movie! But I guess he has a thing for Nicole Kidman or something.

Anyway, I think I made the right decision in dumping Josh. Now I can move onto better things. Better guys.

But what if I'm wrong about Michael? I mean, I'm wrong like 98% of the time. But there's something different here. Why would he spend so much time around me and hold my hand and put his arm around me? Normal guys don't do that to girls they don't like.

Tentatively, I leaned my head against Michael's shoulder. He looked down at me, with a smile that crinkled the bridge of his nose, and pulled me closer before turning back to the movie.

"Michael?" I whispered. He rubbed his barefoot up against mine, but his gaze was still locked on the screen. "_Michael!_"

"Mia, I'm trying to watch---"

But I didn't let him finish. Because I reached up and pulled him towards me, his lips mashing against mine.

It only lasted for about three seconds before Michael pulled away, looking at me strangely. Before I could burst into tears or run away or anything 'extremely lame' (for lack of a better term) like that, Michael moved towards me again.

And when his lips slowly met mine, and his arms wrapped around my waist, it just felt _right_.

After a few minutes, he gently pulled back, his eyes still closed. I could feel his breath against my cheek, slow and even. "What the fuck am I doing?" I heard him murmur to himself before kissing me again. The kiss turned into a hug, and he squeezed me tightly, pressing his face into my shoulder.

I didn't know what to do, so I just kind of sat there hugging him back. I kind of wanted to return to the kissing, though.

"Look, I'm gonna go to bed," he whispered to me. "I need to think."

"B-but…" I stammered, trying to think. "We could watch another movie. Or order some pizza."

He smiled sadly. "Maybe later. I'm sorry..." he trailed off, looking confused. "Do you need Lars to come get you?"

"No, I'm fine," I said, suddenly feeling very small. "I'll just wait for Lilly."

And then he left, leaving me altogether mixed up. What the heck was going on?


	7. I Hate But

Chapter Seven...

I didn't dare tell Lilly about what happened with me and Michael. I'm not stupid; she'd have a cow.

When she got back from her date with Boris, we lay in bed talking about Josh and what a jerk he turned out to be. Well, she used the word jerk, I still feel bad about the whole thing. I mean, he told me he loved me! And I broke his heart! Then went and kissed another guy a few hours later! How horrible am I?

"You didn't break his heart, Mia," Lilly told me. "When someone's heart is made of stone, they are incapable of feeling the hurt. He would have just been pissed off that you got in first and dumped him. Josh isn't used to being dumped. And I bet you ten bucks, Monday morning, he'll be telling everyone it was him that broke it off with you."

"Yeah, I guess." This makes me feel slightly better. I guess I just need reassuring.

I'd been hoping to get that from Michael, but things didn't go as planned. I thought I'd read all the signs right! He _did _kiss me back for a while, I suppose. But he was confused about it and had to leave to think. Think about what? Either he likes me and wants to kiss me, or he doesn't! It's not that hard!

But maybe he doesn't actually like me.

I rolled over to face the wall and let out an involuntary sob.

Lilly heard it, she wasn't supposed to. "What's wrong?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"I thought he liked me!" I said, my breath catching in my throat as a tear rolled onto my pillow.

"He's a jerk, Mia. All he cares about is himself. He was only using you."

"He was?" What on Earth would Michael Moscovitz need to use _me _for?

"Of course he was. Don't you remember at dance, when he kissed you in front of the cameras?"

She's talking about Josh. What am I talking about? Of course she's talking about Josh! She doesn't know anything about what happened with Michael.

"Yeah," I said, playing along. "I remember."

"You just need to forget about him and move on. I bet he'll be back with Lana in no time. She's been skulking around him I've noticed."

If only I had someone to move on with.

Later

Michael woke me up in the morning. He came into Lilly's room, after Lilly had already gotten up, to "talk."

"What is it?" I asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. He's sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"Um, I'm sorry about last night. I just...I was a little confused. I didn't realise you liked me that way."

"I'm sorry," I told him. "But I just thought that _you _liked _me_."

"I _do _like you, Mia. But..."

No, not 'but'. I hate but.

"But what?"

He sighed and pushed a strand of hair out of my face. "I don't know."

I stayed silent for a minute. Then, when I could stand it no longer, I said, "So, what now then?"

He cupped the side of my face with one hand and smiled. "How about we just see what happens?"

I nodded; that's better than nothing, right?

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and helping me up. "I'll cook you something for breakfast. Lilly said something about pancakes, you want some?"

"Sure." Not letting go of my hand until we reached the doorway of the kitchen, where Lilly was, he led me towards food.

Later

I'm not sure what to tell Lilly. Is there even anything to tell her? Michael said we'd see how things go, but that wasn't actually saying that we were dating, was it?

So should I say anything to her at all?

And what's going to happen at school tomorrow? I broke up with Josh on Saturday, and now I'm sort of seeing someone else. How's that going to make me look?

I want to talk to Michael about this, but I don't think he wants to talk about the situation; about _us_. Maybe I should just fly by the seat of my pants for now.

The three of us are watching Pirates of the Carribean. It was Michael's choice, no doubt because of Keira Knightly, but Lilly and I agreed. Who would turn down a movie with both Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom in it?

Michael is sitting in the middle, so Lilly is on the other side of him. I wonder if she'd notice if we were holding hands. Do I dare?

Oh, I dared.

Michael looked at me briefly, then looked down at the hand I'd slipped into his, and he half smiled before turning back to the screen.

At least he didn't take his hand away.

"You guys want some more popcorn?" Lilly asked, picking up the empty bowl.

I didn't really, but I wanted her to leave the room for a minute. "Sure," I replied, Michael nodded.

As soon as Lilly had left I turned to him, "You like this movie?"

"Sure," he said, not tearing his eyes from the screen. "It's good."

"I like it too." I reached over and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

He blushed and looked over at me, then back at the door Lilly had just walked out of. "Maybe we shouldn't. Lilly will come back any second." And then he folded his arms, removing his hand from mine.

What is up with that? The popcorn is still heating, you can hear the microwave! We could kiss until it beeps, then pull back!

And why does he have to take his hand away? Can he not eat with one hand? I know I can.

But maybe he's right. Lilly would no doubt notice if we were both stuffing the popcorn into our mouths with one hand. And Michael obviously doesn't want Lilly to know that anything is going on with us yet. Or ever.


	8. Michael's Thing

[Some of you have "theories". These theories won't be affirmed or denied until next chapter. So get excited. And I'm updating so soon because I love you all. Each and every one of you.]

Chapter Eight

Okay, this is so not going like I wanted.

I mean, I was just walking into school with Michael (who, for the record, has said exactly three words to me in the past three days: "Hey" and "Excuse me." If he doesn't want to be my boyfriend, why can't he just say so? I'd rather have a broken heart then go on in this agonizing confusion. Wait, what am I saying?), when he suddenly grabbed my hand tightly. Lilly wasn't around or anything, but Michael hasn't even been acknowledging my existence lately, let alone the fact that we're 'seeing how things go.'

I hate that term. What does it mean anyway? Things 'went' a little already. Wasn't that a long enough observation period for him? (Though I could take a little more making-out. But obviously, that's not what Michael means by 'seeing how things go'. He means not seeing me at all.)

But Michael gave no explanation to his sudden outburst of kindness/pity/affection or whatever the hell it was. He didn't even _look_ at me. Though there were plenty of people looking at us, including Felix, who looked a bit confused. I know how you feel, buddy.

He walked with me all the way to my locker (Michael, not Felix), where I could finally speak to him. But how uncool would it be for me to freak out on him for _holding my hand_? That's what I want, isn't it?

"Sorry about that," Michael muttered, before starting to walk off. But he was not getting off that easy. As if independent from my body (and mind), my hand shot out and latched onto his shoulder.

"Not so fast," I said, feeling like John Wayne or one of those old tough Western guys.

"Um, yeah?"

"We need to talk, Michael," I said, fighting extremely hard to keep my voice from trembling, because even though I was a little pissed with him, that doesn't change the fact that Michael is rather 'hott' (yes, with two T's). And he was just looking at me with those big peat-bog eyes (which have been so heartbreakingly sad lately that I don't really have the heart to yell at him for ignoring me. But it's okay, I was already well aware of the fact that I'm a total wimp).

"About what?" he asked, looking even more nervous than ever. I guess my tough-guy image was actually working. I guess unleashing bottled-up anger is like a testosterone injection for me.

"About…well, you know."

"No, I don't know," said Michael, lowering his voice to a whisper.

I sighed heavily. "About us 'seeing where things go'?" I want to mutilate that phrase.

To my surprise, he looked extremely relieved. "Oh, that. Can it wait until after school? I'll just come by the loft after your princess lessons."

"Oh…well, okay. I guess." You stupid, stupid weakling. (Me, not Michael.)

"See you in G&T!" he said, throwing his bag over his shoulder and walking off as the bell rang. What happened to holding hands?

Later

Michael came by right as I was launching into my cleaning spree, surprising me as I Windexed the kitchen furiously. But he just laughed, grabbed a washcloth, and helped me wipe down the counters. I was cleaning _for him_; he's not supposed to help!

But he's just too adorable. WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME?

He pulled out a chair for me and then sat down in the one across from me. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

Didn't I already tell him? "Remember how the other night, I k-kissed you and…"

"Right, that. Sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind."

"So you forgot about it?" I said, half-hopefully and half-pissed.

He rested his chin in his hands. "No…it's not that. I was just kind of confused by the whole thing…I still am. You like me?"

I nodded slowly, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. He was going to break my heart. He _was _breaking my heart and he didn't even know it.

But instead he put a hand on mine. "I like you too, Thermopolis. A lot. But the thing is…"

HE LIKES ME! But there's a thing? What thing?!

"It wouldn't be fair of me to date you…because…" He took a deep breath, his cheeks reddening. "I don't know if having a girlfriend is the thing for me right now."

What is with Michael and THINGS? I hate Michael's things! (But I'm sure I wouldn't hate Michael's Thing…ha ha ha.)

I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. Boys are stupid. And if Michael doesn't think it's the right time for him to have a girlfriend…then so be it. I shouldn't be wasting my time with him anyway.

Dammit. This isn't helping at all. Especially with Michael sitting there watching me as my face gets all red and splotchy. "I'm really sorry, Mia," he said softly, squeezing my hand. But I pulled out of his grasp, swallowing over and over again. "I don't want to hurt you…"

But I wasn't going to listen to him any more. What an asshole. A gorgeous asshole. But still…an asshole.

So I barricaded myself in my room and Michael followed me, knocking on the door a few times and trying to apologize. But after that I put on my Enrique Iglesias CD to drown him out and I guess he gave up and left.

For future reference: Enrique and all other popstars are guaranteed Michael-repellents. I've just never wanted to drive him off before.

What's wrong with me? I mean, seriously.


	9. The Other Team

Chapter Nine...

That's it. I'm dumped.

I dumped the hottest guy in the school for someone who then goes and dumps me less than a week later. And it doesn't help that said hottest-guy-in-the-school is now back with Lana, who's rubbing it in my face constantly.

Like I even care.

Except that I do. Not about Josh, no, not him. I'm glad I dumped his sorry ass. But now I don't have Michael to parade around as my replacement.

So people just think that Josh dumped me for Lana. God knows he's not doing anything to set the record straight.

And not that I would be parading Michael around in the first place. I mean,

I fully understand that he is in no way my property (at least not now, anyway) and that he is a human being with feelings, but...but it's just not fair!

WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME???

And what about my feelings? I know he said that he didn't want to hurt me, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. I totally get that. But he did hurt me.

Why did he lead me on like that if he doesn't like me?

You know what would make things better? Not going to school today. Or ever.

I just don't know that I can face Michael after what he said to me yesterday. The whole, "I don't know if having a girlfriend is the thing for me right now." What is up with that anyway? Obviously he was just trying to spare my feelings, because seriously, what seventeen year old guy says that having a girlfriend is not the 'thing' for him right now?

He must have just meant that having me as his girlfriend isn't the right thing for him. But he's just too nice to actually say that to my face.

But anyway, mom won't let me stay home. So it's off to school for me. Off to get my heart broken again, I imagine.

When Michael and Lilly hopped in the limo, I stared pointedly out the window.

"What's up?" Lilly asked.

"Nothing," I muttered, not looking at her.

"Sure."

Michael didn't say anything the whole way to school. I wonder what's going through his mind. No doubt he's thanking the Lord he got out of our relationship when he did. Now he can concentrate on real women. Not little, flat-chested, skyscraper-tall freshmen like me.

I bet that's why he doesn't love me. Because I have no breasts to speak of. What guy would want to date someone as flat-chested as me when there are buxom girls like Lilly around...

...not that Michael would want to date Lilly. Ew, that's just too gross to comprehend.

When we arrived at the school Michael jumped out first and held the door for me and Lilly. I stepped out and walked off, not bothering to thank him.

"Mia, wait," he said, running to catch up to me.

I didn't stop. I just kept walking straight ahead into the school building.

"Mia, wait. Please?" It was the please that did it. It was so urgent, and it had a tinge of apology in it.

I stopped and he grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around to face him. "We need to talk. I feel like I owe you an explanation."

"You don't owe me anything, Michael. And you explained yourself just fine last night. You don't like me that way, and that's fine."

"There's more to it than that, Mia. Please, can we go somewhere to talk?" Michael's eyes were pleading with me as much as his tone was. How can I say no to anything he wants?

Damn those brown, peat bog eyes.

"Ok," I conceded. "Come on."

I lead him into an empty classroom and shut the door behind him, leaving Lars just outside. He paced the front of the room nervously as I sat down in the front row.

"So, what is it?" I asked.

"I'm sure you've noticed how distant I've been lately..."

I nodded. Who couldn't notice?

"Well...I've been going through some stuff. Some issues."

"Michael, I know this. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Just tell me what it is."

"Well...you see, it's hard to just admit this to anyone. I told Felix about it, and he freaked out on me."

So this is what he was talking to Felix about that day on the street, when Josh stole my ice cream. This must be what he thinks makes him a social leper. At least according to that diary entry I saw.

Suddenly it hit me. "Oh, God, Michael, I think I know what this is about."

He stared at me. "You...you do?" He looks scared for some reason.

"Of course I do. You...you like Lana."

"What?"

"You like Lana. But you're too afraid to admit it because you think that your friends, like Felix, will think you're a sell out or whatever. That's why you hate Josh so much. Because Lana's in love with him. Although why you didn't encourage me to stay with him, so you could have Lana for yourself is beyond me. You could have just..."

"Mia," he interrupted me. "I don't like Lana."

"You don't?" But Lana's a real woman. Well, as real a woman you can get for a freshman. "Then what is it?"

"Ok, I'm just going to come out and say it. I think I'm…batting for the other team."

Oh.

My.

God.


	10. Just Peachy

Chapter 10

I can't breathe.

I can't speak.

And I can't even contemplate moving an inch.

"P-pardon?" I managed to choke out after three long, agonizing minutes. Leave it to me to finally remember manners at a time like this.

Michael was pacing across the room, pushing his bangs out of his eyes over and over again. He stopped and looked at me, though, and I swear that I could see tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. "I think I'm…" He took a deep breath. "…gay."

Of course I knew what he meant with the 'batting for the other team' comment. It's not like he could've meant it literally, as Michael is totally against team sports. And apparently against his 'team' as well.

"Mia?" he said softly, coming to sit in the chair across from mine. "Say something."

"You're gay."

"Yeah," he said. "I think so."

Well, that's just peachy. I know I should be just a little bit happy, because this means that there's nothing seriously wrong with me…but I just feel like going and slitting my wrists. "You think so?" I echoed hopefully. If he wasn't sure, there was always the chance that I could persuade him back to the other side.

"Well, yeah. I've kind of been aware of it for a while…I just wasn't positive."

"Are you now?" Please, please say no.

"I guess so. You want me to list the reasons?"

Strangely enough, I did.

**Why I'm Pretty Sure That I'm Attracted to Males**

Compiled by Michael James Moscovitz

I can't get it up for Sarah Michelle Gellar (and have you seen her?) 

I don't watch The O.C. for the anorexic girl (or the realistic plotlines) 

I watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and heard my calling (sort of kidding) 

I've had one girlfriend and I only went out with her because her dad owned this venue and she had tickets and backstage passes to the upcoming Weezer show 

I kissed one of the coolest, prettiest girls I know and didn't feel a thing 

-----

He looked at me kind of strangely after saying that last item as I inwardly tried to figure out just who he had kissed.

And then it dawned on me. It is a little consoling that Michael finds me cool and pretty.

But WHY, GOD? WHY?!

Michael put a hand over mine and looked deep into my eyes in a way that I would've totally appreciated just yesterday. "I swear to God, Mia, you had me doubting my homosexuality just as I had sold myself on it. But it was just friendly instincts, you know? And I mean it when I say that you're one of my best friends. I wouldn't have told just anybody all of this."

I kind of wish I was 'just anybody.' Blissfully ignorant of this completely gorgeous guy's sexual preference.

I want him so badly. But then again, I also want what's best for him.

Why can't my two deepest desires just merge into one wonderful situation?

Oh, right. Because it's like a law of nature or something for my life to completely suck.

I don't know when I started crying. But all of the sudden, tears were flowing down my cheeks rapidly and the bit of mascara I had put on this morning in hopes of wooing back Michael began to run down my face. "Mia, sweetheart," he whispered. "Please don't cry because of this. I'm not worth it, believe me."

Instead of getting psyched over my crush of the century calling me 'sweetheart', it just depressed me even more. Because the way he said it was so friendly, it was maddening. "I'm sorry," I said, wiping my eyes. "It's really not that big of a deal."

My wavering voice and constant sniffles didn't make for a convincing argument. "Are you sure? Because Felix already completely wigged out on me…and I have a feeling you're about to do the same. I mean, if you don't want to talk to me any more, I won't be surprised or angry. I understand, really."

Michael's a bad liar too. But I just reached out and took his hand (though I subconsciously was probably not conveying the friendly intentions he seemed to have with this gesture) and squeezed it gently. "I'd never do that. We're friends, right?"

"Yeah," he said with a wobbly smile. "That's cool. Can, um, you not tell anyone about this conversation, though?

Uh, duh. Like I would ever confess to obsessing over my best friend's older brother and then being rejected because he happens to like his own kind. Michael must think I'm mentally retarded or something. Grandmere does.

"Your secret's safe," I said, refraining at the last second from employing the lame 'lock my mouth and throw away the key' motion.

We both stood and Michael cracked a grin. "You don't know how much this means to me," he said, reaching towards me for a hug.

I let myself sink into his arms, almost forgetting for a second that he has absolutely zero interest in me.

But knowing now that he kissed me and felt absolutely nothing, it's kind of driven the urge to jump his bones clear out of my mind. He's still the nicest, cutest, sweetest guy I know, and I'd feel absolutely awful if he lost friends over his situation.

Maybe there's still a chance, though. I mean, I could save Michael from the Dark Side (not that there's anything wrong with homosexuality, just when the boy I happen to be head-over-heels for wants a dude in his pants…that's when I'm not too hip with it).

But Michael didn't seem too sure about his conclusion that he was gay. Maybe if I was tactful and persuasive enough, I could still have the man of my dreams.

It's really for his own good too. He's clearly not happy with the way things are now.

How the hell do you go about seducing a boy anyway?


	11. Brad not Jennifer

[By the reviews for last chapter, I can tell most of you guys are a little...shocked. You'll just have to read on to see what happens, though. In a couple of chapters, two characters that are very near and dear to my heart are introduced. So look out for that. Thanks for reading and reviewing!]

Chapter Eleven...

How is one supposed to concentrate at school when one finds out that the one one is in love with prefers Brad Pitt to Jennifer Anniston?

And how many times did I just say 'one' in that sentence? Did it even make sense? Ah, who CARES?

The love of my life is gay and I'm worrying about the grammar and plausibility of my incessant ramblings? I so need a life.

A sharp poke in my ribs jerked me back to reality. "Ow." I rubbed the spot and looked over at Lilly. "What is your problem?" I snapped.

"Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing. What did you and Michael have to talk about so secretly this morning?"

"It's none of your business," I replied, a little snottily I might add.

"It's totally my business. You're my best friend, and he's my brother. God, is this what it would be like if you two were dating?"

I wish.

"Wait, what am I saying?" she continued. "That'd never happen."

"What? Why?" I know that, but how does she know that? Does she think I'm not good enough for him?

Lilly stayed silent for a minute. "No reason."

"Lilly..." I eyed her suspiciously. "Do you know something?"

"No," she replied instantly. "Do you know something?"

"Why would I know something? I don't know anything...But if you know something, you can tell me."

"Well, I know nothing, Mia."

"Okay. Then neither do I."

"Good. Let's keep it that way. The day you start to know things I lose all sense of things that are right in this world."

"Hey!"

She smiled deviously at me. "So seriously, what's the sitch with you guys? Although he hasn't said more than three words to me about what he's going through, I know it's some pretty serious stuff. Is he ok?"

"He's fine. Not that I know anything, of course."

"No, of course."

After that, we both went back to our work. Well, Lilly went back to her work, I went back to day dreaming about Michael actually liking me as more than a friend. Ho hum.

Later

When Michael walked into the G&T room, I felt a little awkward. And he looked it too.

"Hey," he said, sliding into the seat next to me.

"Hey," I replied.

"Do you want help with your Algebra?"

"Um, okay." How am I supposed to concentrate on Algebra now that he's so close, yet so far away?

As soon as Lilly went to see if Boris was all right, (he'd locked himself in the cupboard. Everyone ignored his wailing for ten minutes, but then Lilly decided she'd better let him out, especially if he's knocked over another can of paint thinner or something) Michael turned to me. "I know things are a little weird right now, but I want to thank you for not making them too weird. And to thank you for not running off and freaking like some people."

"Yeah, well, you know me. I don't freak out that easily." That's like the biggest understatement of the year.

He smiled at me; his wonderful, happy smile. "You're so great," he said, squeezing my knee under the table. He lowered his voice, "You know, I really wish I felt something for you. If I weren't...you know, you're the first girl I'd wanna take out."

I'm torn between melting at his nice words, and resisting the urge to throw myself on him, begging him to try to like me. JUST TRY!!!

"Thanks, Michael. That means a lot."

We went back to the Algebra, but once again, I wasn't concentrating. I'm too busy thinking of ways to de-gay him. It could be possible, right? I mean, it's just such a waste for all those gorgeous, sweet guy qualities that are so, so rare, to just go down the drain.

But then again, maybe I should just respect his decision to like men. God knows I do.

And maybe that's the problem.

Later

Okay, so I spent all afternoon, after princess lessons, devising a plan to woo Michael.

I'm going to arrange a 'date' for us. No, it's not going to be a _date_ date. At least he won't think so. But I'm going to be so perfect, that he won't be able to resist me. He's going to sweep me up in his arms and cry, "I love you, Mia! I no longer want hot guys in tight pants, with fashion taste and pretty boy good looks, all I want is you! Say it's not too late!"

And I'll be all, "Of course it's not, Michael! I love you too!"

And then we'll live happily ever after.

Or something along those lines.

Anyway, it'll be perfect. I just know it will. I have a gut feeling about it. It's just too bad that I can't distinguish between the gut instinct that tells me everything is going to be okay, and the one that tells me I'd better grab a bucket.

But I'm sure it's the former. It has to be, right?

[So Mia has a plan. But will it work? Review!]


	12. Buffy Action Figures

It's all set then.

There's no possible way Michael will be able to go through this evening without at least wanting to kiss the hell out of me.

How, you ask? How will I take an apparently homosexual boy and make him fall for me, a rather average-looking girl?

I'll tell you how. By creating the perfect date (at least in Michael Moscovitz's mind). I've got his favorite movie (Return of the Jedi), his favorite meal (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dipped in milk), and Weezer (his favorite band) as background music.

Once the lights are low and the movie's playing, I just have to make the move (and as cute as Michael is, this isn't going to be easy), and Michael will, in theory, be powerless to stop himself from kissing me back.

Right???????

This is all according to Tina, by the way. I didn't clue her in on who I was trying to 'seduce', but she still called upon her vast knowledge of romantic situations and helped a sista out.

Michael already seems pretty psyched about coming over. He said it'll give him something to do besides sit around and listen to Lilly gush about Boris. And apparently, I'm his only friend right now.

Do I want to jeopardize my friendship with Michael (which he seems to hold so dear) for something he has already claimed he doesn't want?

STOP. I can't over-think this. Because consciences tend to get me in trouble. So shut up, Jiminy Cricket.

I got my mom out of the way by getting her tickets to this show at the Met with Mr. G. She happily obliged, leaving Michael and me an evening alone in the loft.

He's going to be here any minute. Deep breaths.

I decided to wear this dress my mom still has from when she was my age, so it's sexy _and _retro and not completely sagging in the chest (she didn't develop until later on, so there's still hope for me, isn't there?)

The intercom, leading me to nearly hyperventilate before I gulped and went to answer it. "H-hello?" I said, my voice squeaky and breathless.

"Thermopolis? It's Michael."

Of course it was Michael. Who else could possess such a wonderful, mellifluous voice?

I buzzed him up and stood awkwardly at the door waiting. After what seemed like hours and hours, he finally knocked.

Jesus Christ. Is it possible to have a heart attack at fourteen?

"Hey, Michael," I said softly as I opened the door.

He let out a low whistle. "Geez, Mia. What's the occasion?"

I don't know if he meant for me to feel really stupid, but I did. He was just standing there in his Van Morrison shirt, jeans, and Converses. "Um, my mom was cleaning out her closet and had me try it on and I just haven't taken it off yet."

He smiled. "It looks nice, but you don't want to be uncomfortable watching the movie, do you? You might get chilly."

That's the idea, dammit. So you'll put your arm around me!!!

But, of course I didn't say that. I just grinned stupidly and went to change.

Why must I be practically androgynous? None of my clothes are tight, and even if they were, it's not like I have any body at all to show off.

"Better?" said Michael as I walked back out. I nodded a little and he followed me into the kitchen.

"I made us some dinner," I explained, picking up the tray of sandwiches, two glasses, and a pitcher of milk.

"Cool beans. So what movie are we watching?"

We walked into the living room and I set the food down on the coffee table. "Return of the Jedi."

"Ooh, Harrison," he said, licking his lips and grinning. "Good choice."

Oh, yes. He's still gay. But it's just a phase he's going through. Because Michael just can't be gay. He's too perfect for me!

My confidence in the plan was strengthened as the movie started. Michael sat super-close to me (or did I sit super-close to him?) and knocked his bare foot against mine. But the whole time his eyes were fixed on the screen and he'd grin coyly every time Luke or Han came on.

Nothing to worry about, though. Right?

Maybe he's just trying to convince me that he's gay, and it's really all an elaborate scheme so it'll be a big surprise when he confesses his undying love for me.

"Mia…" he said, putting a hand on my knee.

And then I decided now was the time. So with a pounding heart, I started to lean towards him. But then he spoke again, causing me to hesitate. "You've been so cool about all this. I mean, I've only told you and Felix, but I guess I've learned who my true friends are, right?"

Right. But what I'm about to do isn't the same as what Felix did. I'm not _mad _at Michael for thinking he likes guys. I'm just trying to show him that it really is nice over here.

And then, it was if a light bulb appeared over my head. The credits were rolling for the movie, and I finally had Michael's undivided attention. "Wanna come see my Buffy action figures?"

I mean, I sounded a little lame, but Michael fell for it and followed me into my room.

"Why aren't you turning on the lights?" Michael said, after he had followed me into the room.

"Oh, uh, they're burnt out," I said. He sat down on the bed and looked up at me questioningly.

"So, where are the action figures?"

Poor, unassuming Michael. I came and stood in front of him and he smiled. "What're you doing?"

But I didn't answer him. I just leaned forward and pressed my lips to his gently, pushing him down onto the bed.

"What're you doing?" he asked again after about a minute.

I pulled away, my face only inches from his and saw that he didn't look very pleased…or turned on.

"Uh…" I stammered as Michael sat up, carefully pushing me off.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" he said, with the barest hint of a smile on his face.

Shit. "Um, maybe?"

Now he didn't look amused in the least. "I thought we were clear on everything."

"We are, it's just…"

"It's just what?" he asked softly, but all the sweetness that normally occupied his voice was gone.

"Well, maybe this gay thing is just in your head?"

I regretted the words the moment they escaped my lips. He looked like I had just slapped him. "Mia, I'm just now starting to accept this. Do you think I'm pretending to be homosexual as a _joke_? For shits and giggles? I didn't lose my best friend for fun. And I'm not freakin' depressed all the time because it amuses me. This is _real _and I thought you understood."

My eyes filled up. God, I want to hit myself for how extremely stupid I've been. After all Michael revealed to me (none of these things being his lovely body, unfortunately)

"I'm sorry," I managed to whisper.

He folded his arms across his chest, still looking rather peeved. "So you planned all this?"

I nodded meekly and he groaned, putting his head in his hands. "But why???"

"Because I still like you and…and…I don't know."

"It just seems like every time we hang out, you feel the need to kiss me. And every time I have to turn you down. And I hate upsetting you. But you're not making any of this any easier on me, Thermopolis."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, shuffling my feet. "I…wasn't thinking. Of you, that is. I mean, I kept telling myself that I really liked you and we had to be together, but if I had actually stopped and thought of what was best for you, I probably wouldn't have gone through with it."

"Probably?" He grinned. "Why do you like me so much anyway? I'm not _Josh Richter_."

"Well, I've decided Josh isn't my type."

"Mine either."

I tentatively sat beside him on the bed. "Oh, so you have a type?"

His cheeks flushed. "Just not pretty boys. If it's too obvious that they're hot, then I'm not really into it."

A smile crept slowly across my face. Earlier this evening I'd been obsessing over my stupid little plot to mold Michael to my liking, but sitting there just now and listening to Michael talk about something he cared about was almost better than kissing him.


	13. Puppy Dog

[The reviews are a little not there lately. And what's this I hear about another story saying this story sucks? That's a little low, amigos. Thanks for all those who have reviewed. Y'all rock.]

Chapter Thirteen...

I feel so bad. So damn guilty. Michael hasn't even spoken to me since Saturday night, when I so wrongly, and so embarrassingly tried to seduce him.

What was I even thinking? He's so obviously gay! I mean, he told me he's gay, and yet I still went after him. What is wrong with me???

I know. I think about myself too much. I wanted Michael, so I went after him. I'm selfish. And hypocritical. I'm always going on about people like Lana, who only care about themselves and what they want, and here I go and do something that is way more heinous than the things Lana does.

So when I see him at school today, I'm going to make it up to him. I have to. I can't live with this guilt, and I don't want Michael to be lonely. He already lost Felix over it, and since I'm his only other friend, we have to make up. I just have to control my urges to make out with him.

When he hopped in the limo, I greeted him as if everything was normal. Lilly is still in the dark about everything that's been happening (although knowing Lilly, she's probably already worked it out and is leaving it up to us to work things out. That's the kind of thing I know Lilly would get a kick out of) so I didn't want to alarm her that anything has actually happened. He muttered a hello back, but spent the rest of the trip looking out the window.

"Michael!" I called to him when I got out of the limo, he's already speed walking into the building.

"What, Thermopolis?" he said harshly when I caught up to him.

"I...I want to talk. Can we talk?"

"Just talk?" He lowered his voice, "Because I don't want you getting it into your little head that we can do anything else."

"No," I said, looking him in the eyes. "I know that. And I want to apologize for it."

"You already apologized."

"Well, did you forgive me? Because I get the feeling that you're still mad at me. And you have every right to be, I stuffed up, and I get it. But I really am sorry."

He sighed and took his time answering. Then he put his arm around my shoulders (in an only friend way, of course) and said, "I know you are. And I forgive you. But...You just have to understand that we're friends, and that's all we can ever be. Okay?"

I nodded sadly. I totally get it now. I won't be making that mistake again anytime soon. "Okay. I get it."

Phew. If things weren't right with Michael, I don't know what I'd do with myself.

Later

"Oof!" I came out of my Algebra class and ran into someone. I hadn't been looking where I was going because I was, as usual, just trying to get far away from all things math related. "Sorry," I apologized, picking up my things from the ground.

"That's cool. Where you off to in such a hurry anyway?"

I looked up to see the guy I'd knocked into was helping me pick up the pens that had flown all over the hall. "Uh, I just want to get out of math quick."

"I know the feeling," he laughed and looked at me, piercing his pale blue gaze into my own. "I'm Leaves, by the way. Leaves Broderick. I'm new here."

Leaves? Weird name. But cute, cute guy. Not in a totally obvious way like Josh, but still cute. Maybe all's not lost for the attainable guys at Albert Einstein. I'd previously been thinking they were all gay or taken, or just not right for me, like the guy who doesn't like corn in his chili or Kenny, my Bio partner.

"Mia," I said, standing back up.

"Nice to meet you. I'd better get going, I'll see you around." He winked and walked away, leaving me staring after him.

"Rude, much?" Lana said from behind me. "Not only should you get out of my way, but you shouldn't look at relatively good looking guys like that when it should be people like me who get the looking pleasure. And don't go thinking that was anything special, that wink he gave you. I'd wager he has a lazy eye before I'd say it was supposed to be a wink at you. Or else he saw me standing here behind you and directed it to me."

I was about to say something back, but she just shoved me aside and walked off. And she says I'm rude.

Later

I was telling Michael about Leaves when we were walking to the G&T room. I left out that theory of Lana's though. It's weird talking to Michael about another hot guy. But I suppose this is what he wants; to just be like a gal-pal.

He is, of course, not making it seem like he is interested in just how hot Leaves is. At least not to other people. But I can tell he's going to drill me for a full description as soon as no one else is around.

"I saw another new guy hanging around," Michael said. "Maybe they're related? It would be a pretty big coincidence if there were two new guys at the same time otherwise."

"Maybe," I said, though I haven't seen anyone new but Leaves this morning. Maybe it's the same person.

"Move, fag," Josh said to Michael, who was trying to get through the packed hallway.

"What did you say?" Michael asked, turning as white as a ghost.

"I said move. Have you got a hearing problem, fudge-packer?"

Uh oh.

Michael was lost for words.

"Josh, don't be so rude," I told him. The fact that I have swapped saliva with this asshole has somehow given me the strength to stand up to him.

"What? He is gay. I heard him talking about it with Felix. Or is it supposed to be a secret?"

I quickly turned to Michael, panicking. "Don't be an ass, Josh. Just get out of the way."

"Can't he stand up for himself now? He needs to get his fag-hag to stand up for him?"

"Just get out of the way!" I cried, pushing Josh and pulling Michael through the crowd of people who'd stopped in the hall to see what the commotion was about.

"Whatever," Josh called back out. "Make sure you tell him to keep his fag hands away from me. I don't swing that way."

Michael was shaking as I dragged him up the stairwell that leads to the roof. The one that is locked, so no one ever comes up here.

He sat down against the door and just looked at me. "Oh, God, Thermopolis. Now everyone's going to know!"

"Shh..." I told him. "It's okay. Maybe everyone will just take it as a joke."

"A joke?" He looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. "No, not after the way I reacted. I should have denied it, I should have said something!"

"But then Josh would have called you on your denial. If he really did over-hear you talking to Felix about it, then he knows. He can't have made a lucky guess like that."

Michael shook his head. "I'm not ready," he muttered. "I'm just not ready for everyone to know. I was happy in the closet. It was safe."

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I guess you just have to come out a little sooner than you wanted."

He nodded. He looks so sad. He really is like a little puppy dog. A gay puppy dog.

[Review and tell me what you think. Opinions are highly valued.]


	14. Assets

As I predicted, Michael called me that evening.

"Let me guess, you want the details on Leaves," I said, sinking onto the couch. Truth be told, I was feeling just a teensy bit jealous, and not just of Leaves for catching Michael's eye. I didn't want to chase after the same guy as Michael, because I could so see Leaves switching his sexual preference after taking a good look at half-naked Michael. Unless he already is gay…

OH, GOD. What is wrong with me? Am I seriously doomed to be a fag-hag?

"Actually, no. But did you see his brother?"

"What was his name again? Matt?" Tina had found me after sixth period to gush about him.

"_Max_," he said, sounding annoyed. "And, Lord, is he fine."

As is his brother. Even though he has these big, bulky glasses, that doesn't stop his gorgeous sapphire eyes from shining through. And he's got this short, messy black hair that I yearn to run my fingers through.

"He has this shiny, jet black hair that falls just right into his eyes. And, oh man, his eyes are the perfect shade of green…kind of like a foresty color…fringed with long, long lashes. Oh, and I swear to God he uses lip balm or something, because no one has such great lips naturally…"

Dear Lord, Michael and I sound like two teenage girls. At least I have an excuse, and I guess he does too. I mean, I think this is his first _real _crush on someone he knows. And I know only too well how those can get a little out of hand.

Suddenly I heard a new voice in the background of Michael's ramble. "Go away, Mom," I heard him say tensely. "Fine, whatever. I'll be there in a second."

"What was that about?" I said, propping up my feet on the coffee table.

"Oh, God, Thermopolis. She just walked in when I was gushing over how his pants really accentuated his _ass_ets."

I cringed, feeling his pain. "What'd she say?"

"She wants to _talk _to me in the kitchen. Shit."

His nonchalant demeanor was betrayed by the fact that I could practically hear him sweating. "So what are you gonna do?"

"The only thing I can do...lie."

Right. If it were me in this situation, I know that Michael would be urging me to spill the beans to my mom. But I can't say I've ever experienced anything quite like this. Plus, I think Michael's gone through enough today, what with his premature coming-out party. There were even decorations, or at least Josh spray-painting 'Homo' onto Michael's locker. It was only small consolation that Josh got suspended for two weeks because of it.

"What if she knows already…like maybe Lilly told her or something?" I didn't even know if Lilly had heard yet. She didn't mention it to me, and she's not one to hang around with Josh and Lana, who had been cackling with their crowd about it all day. Jeez, it just goes to show how boring Albert Einstein is (the school, not the guy), that something like this will probably provide comedic fodder for about three weeks.

"God, you think? I mean, all my parents are going to do is psychoanalyze me to death and probably have me 'record my feelings' or whatever for them to study…but it's still ridiculously lame."

"Hey!" Journaling happens to be healthy and fulfilling. "Aren't gay guys supposed to love expressing their feelings and everything?"

"Nice generalization. And there's a difference between expressing my feelings and my parents _making me _express my feelings for their own sick entertainment."

"Sorry," I said meekly. I mean, I hate when Grandmere forces me to regale the recent events of my life as she sips on her Sidecar and cackles whenever she hears about a particularly horrific moment.

"Anyway, I'm off to face certain doom. _Ciao, bella_."

Almost as soon as I had set the phone down, it rang again. Instead of being Lilly, Michael, or Tina, like it usually is, the caller had an unfamiliar baritone.

"Hey, is Mia there?"

I gave up trying to figure out who it was. "This is she." Dammit, Grandmere's influence strikes again. Next thing you know, I'll be drinking and smoking all the time and making coats out of puppies.

Wait, wasn't that Cruella Devil?

Whatever.

"Hey, uh, this is Leaves. Leaves Broderick. Principal, uh…Gupta told me that I was supposed to call you and ask you to be kind of like my guide around school or something."

Ooh! Even though Grandmere probably had a hand in this. She's always trying to get me to be more diplomatic. But all I can say is…

THANK YOU, GRANDMERE!!!!

After a minute of silent-freaking-out, it occurred to me that Leaves was still waiting on the phone. "Um, okay. I'm not very good at directions or anything. I mean, I had this compass once, but it was totally cheap and wouldn't work. And also, I kind of dropped it out of the window of my apartment, but that's only because I was trying to figure out which way it was to Iceland. And I thought maybe the North Star would work better than the stupid compass. The globe I was holding got smashed too."

God. I hate when I ramble. Leaves started chuckling quietly, but it was a nice chuckle. "I know how you feel. I got this Tamagotchi and it was a complete piece of crap. I think all toys should be waterproof. Seriously, I've written to Congress a few times about this."

I barely even know this guy, but soon we were off on this schizophrenic train of conversation, covering such topics as Beanie Babies, R. Kelly, Britney's one-second marriage, and even Vanilla Ice.

I've never talked to a guy this much. Even with Michael, I spent more time ogling. Leaves said he had to go after about an hour (I could hear someone shouting at him in the background) and it was only after he had hung up that I realized I had been talking to the brother of the guy of Michael's dreams. Should I have said something? Or is it even really my place?

No. I definitely, definitely was right to keep my mouth shut. You don't just tell some guy you've never even talked to that another dude has a crush on him.

The phone rang a second later and for once I checked the caller ID. It was Leaves' number. I squealed and scooped up the phone, only to be greeted by an unknown voice for the second time today.

"Is this Mia?"

"This is she."

"Good. Just so you know, that story Leaves fed you about Gupta wanting you to be his guide was completely bull. But humor him and go along with it."

"Oh, okay."

"And, uh, you're friends with that, um, Moscovitz guy, right?"

"Yeah."

I could hear Leaves in the background. "I gotta go," the caller said hurriedly. "Bye."

It just goes to show how completely oblivious I am to everything that it was only hours later, as I drifted off to sleep, that it hit me.

I had been talking to Max, hadn't I?

And he asked about Michael.

Once again, I'm not going to say a thing until I know more. But could Michael be getting himself a boyfriend?

Good for him. Seriously.


	15. Study Buddy

Chapter Fifteen...

Feeling like a hyperactive, gossipy fourteen year old (which I suppose I sometimes I am), I rushed up to Michael at school the next day to tell him about my phone calls the night before. I waited until Lilly had stalked off though, of course.

"You'll never believe what happened!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Michael asked, his tone not sounding as enthusiastic as it should have been for the news I was about to tell him. He was walking along with his head low, facing the ground. I guess he's being self conscious about the whole outing thing. And hey, I would be too. Especially since almost every eye in the school entrance is on him.

"I spoke to..." I started, but stopped when none other than Max Broderick himself walked up to us.

"Hey," he said, falling into line next to me. "What's up?"

"Oh, you know...boring school stuff," I replied, trying, unsuccessfully, to catch his eye. He seemed more interested in catching Michael's eye though.

Michael didn't reply, but I noticed him tense up. Oh yes, this is love. It has to be.

"Um, you're Michael, right?"

Michael looked up, but didn't look him in the eye. "Yeah, uh huh. I'm Michael."

"Oh, great. Because, um," he stopped and winked at me. "Principal Gupta said she'd assigned you to help me out around the school. You know, with directions and all."

I smiled, thinking of those phone calls last night, but I didn't call Max on his blatantly obvious (to me, anyway) lie.

Michael perked up. "Sure," he said. "I'll be your guide or whatever. No problem."

"Great," Max said. "So, uh, can I walk you to your locker? We can talk."

I watched Michael and his new found love prospect, if that is indeed Max's intentions, walk off into the school. It's like watching them walk off into the sunset, except of course, for the people gawking at them and the lack of the actual sunset.

After Michael and Max had disappeared, Lilly came up to me.

"Hey," she said, helping me stuff my back pack into my locker.

"Hey," I replied, even though we got past greetings on the way to school.

"Um, I just think you should know that I appreciate you being a good friend to Michael recently. Normally I'd hate to temporarily lose my best friend to my brother or whatever, but he's going through a tough time right now, and I think you're good for him."

"Thanks, Lil."

"And um, I also think you should know what happened with our parents last night..."

The reason Michael had had to hang up from me. "Go on."

"Well, you know how our parents are psychoanalysts?" I nodded. "Well, they confronted Michael about...you know...and then they asked him if they could use him and his views as an example of how minorities in society are unfairly judged in the book they are planning on writing."

"And what did Michael say?"

"Some fairly colorful words. But basically the gist of it was that no, he wouldn't be interested, and that although he's glad they're not freaking out about this, he doesn't want to talk about it with them. So I think it's important that you be around for him to talk about it with, when he needs to, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Because this could really stuff him up. He's already having problems with people here at school, he doesn't need the added pressure of our parents hounding him for information on what it feels like to be viewed as sub-human in the eyes of societies less open-minded scum."

Having gotten this morning's books out, I shut my locker and faced her, looking her in the eyes. "Lilly, how long have you known for?"

She shrugged. "Ages. I mean, he never actually told me, but there were things he'd do that, even though he had no idea what it could possibly mean, showed me he wasn't exactly like most teenagers."

"And you never spoke to him about it?" I asked.

"No. I didn't want to embarrass him. And I could see that he was still trying to work it out for himself, so I didn't want to confuse him even more."

I nodded. "Did you see him with the new guy?" I couldn't help but ask.

She smiled. "Uh huh. Do you think it's love?"

"Definitely."

Later

I skipped Princess Lessons this afternoon to hang out with Leaves, Lilly and Tina. Leaves insisted that as his guide, I show him around New York a bit. And being scared shitless, I insisted on bringing Lilly and Tina.

Walking up to Lilly's apartment, after Tina and Leaves had left, we talked about how cute it'd been when Leaves was trying to find his apartment building from the top of the Empire State Building. He'd said he wasn't going anywhere until he found it. But when he realised that we were facing the complete opposite direction, he recoiled.

"So you like him?" Lilly asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, trying not to show just how much I like him. "Yeah, he seems cool."

Lilly laughed. "Well I think it's safe to say he likes you. I mean, Principal Gupta assigning you to be his guide is a pretty far fetched story. Gupta never assigns kids to be guides. You've just got to find your way around the school yourself."

"That's what Max told me," I told her. "That it was bull. But then he went and used the same story on your brother."

"See?" Lilly said, opening the door to the apartment. "It must mean...Oh my."

I couldn't see past Lilly to see what it was that had caused her to stop so suddenly, so I just pushed her aside.

Michael was there, sitting on the couch, his school books spread out on the coffee table.

And he wasn't alone.

"Uh, hi, guys," he said, flushing bright pink when he saw us standing, open mouthed in the doorway.

"Hi," we muttered at the same time.

Max waved a hand at us, but we could only smile back.

"Uh, we're just studying, I'm trying to help Max catch up on all the school work he's behind in."

"I'm sure you are," Lilly said suggestively. The fact that Max and Michael were sitting extremely close on the couch hadn't gone unnoticed by her.

"Well, we'll just let you get back to your studying."

Fifteen minutes later I escaped from Lilly's room to get a glass of water from the kitchen. I heard the door open and shut, then Michael came into the kitchen.

"Max just leave?" I asked.

"Uh huh," he replied.

I poured him a glass of water.

"We were just studying," he said after a minute.

"I know," I told him.

"I mean, it's not as if anything else was going on," he assured me.

"Okay, I believe you."

"Because it's not even as if..."

"Michael," I cut him off. "It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me. But you can tell me all about it later."

He smiled coyly. "How do you know there's anything to tell?"

Oh, I know. I know.


	16. Lethal Weapons

[All right, last chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed this story, or at least felt you had to read till the end to see if Michael was just kidding about the whole gay thing.

He's not.]

So…Max and Michael are very much a couple now.

I mean, they don't hold hands in the hallways or make out against the lockers like most of the couples at AEHS do. But everyone knows they're dating. And while they get whispered about a lot, no one outright hassles them any more, ever since Josh was laughing at them eating lunch together and Max nonchalantly informed him that he was a black belt in karate—pronounced 'kara-tay' here—"These hands are licensed by the government as lethal weapons" as Michael tried to stifle his giggles.

So either Josh thinks Max is criminally insane, or he really is frightened of his martial arts 'skillz'. Either way, it worked.

Away from school, they definitely aren't so shy. Though any time either Lilly or I "accidentally" walk into the living room or den when Michael and Max are in there, they quickly jump apart, cheeks flushed. Lilly's seeing how many times she can interrupt them before Michael really gets pissed off.

At first I was afraid of entering any room where they might be expressing their love for one another, but it's actually kinda sweet. Truth be told, Michael seems much more enthusiastic about kissing Max than swapping spit with me.

Like today, I was standing in the doorway of the den and I witnessed Michael drape his arm loosely over Max's shoulders as they watched the end of Titanic (even though I know for a fact that Michael hates that movie with a passion. Or was he lying, like he does about his Backstreet Boys CDs?)

"I love you," Michael whispered, so softly that I almost couldn't hear him. But I don't think that was top on his list of priorities.

Max leaned his head onto Michael's shoulder, his eyes still glued to the screen. "Ditto."

The mood changed instantly. Michael grabbed a pillow and whacked him in the stomach. "All right, Patrick Swayze." [A/N: The "I love you"…"Ditto" thing comes from 'Ghost' with Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze.]

"Ha ha. I only wish I could dance like that. Or at all, really."

I could see the gears working in Michael's head. He looked to the door just as I slipped out of sight. "Mia!" he called. "Lil, is Mia here?"

"Yeah," she shouted back. 'In fact, she's spying on you right now."

Shit.

Michael yelped as I poked my head around the corner, smiling sheepishly.

"What the hell, Thermopolis?" But he seemed to have a tough time getting pissed when Max had a hand on his knee.

"Sorry, I, uh…you wanted to see me?"

Michael grunted, his eyes still narrowed. "Max can't dance and I was thinking you could help me show him how. Since you've seen Dirty Dancing all those times. And your grandmother makes you take dancing lessons."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, and if you do I might be able to forgive you for ogling my boyfriend and me, you pervert." He grinned, but I don't think he'd be smiling if he realized how much he sounded like Lilly right then.

If you told me a month ago that I'd be helping Michael teach his boyfriend how to groove, I would've laughed my head off (or maybe burst into tears).

But really, Max is the nicest guy. And he's seriously hilarious. I laughed my ass off when he launched into the Funky Chicken while Michael was attempting to teach him a little something about rhythm. I think Michael found it sexy, though, because he started shooting me furtive looks and then glancing at the doorway until I took the hint and bid them adieu. As I was walking out, though, Max started dancing closer to Michael and grinning cheekily.

I felt a sudden pang of sadness and sank down onto the living room couch. I'm over Michael, I swear. But I think I'm just a teensy bit jealous because he found love with the one other gay guy at AEHS. And here I am, still bitter and alone.

Okay, I'm being ridiculous. I am, after all, only fourteen. And there is Leaves…

But we've been friends for over two months and he still hasn't made a move. I'm starting to think that Max is just trying to cause trouble. Every time he sees me (without Leaves), he likes to point out little things Leaves does to show his affection for me, like walking with me to my locker every morning and talking with me on the phone all the time and holding my hand during scary parts of movies.

I just act like I don't care, even though my heart is pounding.

Leaves comes over to the loft a lot to do homework (it turns out he's in French, Bio, and Algebra with me). And we usually go to a movie or play mini-golf on the weekends.

We have the most random conversations that tend to last for hours. He has this little thing to his voice (almost like a lisp, but not quite) that makes me want to just grab him and mash my lips against his.

But you can't just do that if the other person doesn't like you, as I learned from my "relationship" with Michael.

The intercom buzzed and Lilly yelled, "Mia, could you get that?" I heard Boris' voice in her room.

God. When did he get here?

Personally, I'm feeling a little queasy about sitting in the middle of the Moscovitzes' Love Shack. I'm the only one here without somebody to release some of my caged lust upon (ha ha ha).

But Lilly wants me to go to Central Park with her and set up a bacon stand (just don't ask), so I feel kind of obligated to stay.

I gladly jumped up and walked to the door (I could hear Max singing "Love Will Keep Us Together" in a falsetto in the den).

And the visitor was none other than 5'10" of adorable. "Hey, Leaves. What's up?"

He blushed for some reason. "Uh, is Max here? We were supposed to meet at Border's about a half an hour ago and he didn't show."

We both stopped to listen as Max held the last note of the song for a ridiculously long amount of time. I laughed nervously and held open the door for him. "He's here. Want me to go get him?"

Leaves turned even pinker as he stepped inside. "Nah. Don't interrupt them."

Whew. Thank God for that.

Since Lilly was a little too occupied with her boyfriend (as was Michael...with his boyfriend, not Boris. I'd like to think Michael has better taste than that. I stopped wondering about Lilly ages ago), I offered Leaves a drink in the kitchen.

"You've been friends with Michael for a while, right?"

I nodded, unscrewing the cap from my water bottle. "Well, we only really started hanging out recently."

"Does it ever weird you out that he's…well, gay?"

I wasn't sure what to say. "Uh, I was really surprised when he told me. What about you with Max?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "He used to be really popular at our school back in Santa Monica. All these girls wanted him and everything, but then he came out in the middle of last year and a lot of his old friends freaked out on him."

Jeez. Now I know why they feel so strongly about each other. Max and Michael, that is. "So I guess I respect it, but it's still odd, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean."

"He thinks a lot of you. Michael, I mean. He was over at our house the other night watching "Thelma and Louise" with my brother, and he started telling me about how awesome a friend you've been."

Something squirmed inside of me. Either Michael had been lying or he'd completely forgotten about what a spaz I was throughout the whole ordeal.

Leaves scooted his chair a little closer to mine. "I guess you're the kind of person who makes a great friend."

I burst into tears, which only worsened as I saw Michael and Max walk hand-in-hand into his room.

That's all I'll ever be to the guys I love: a good friend.

I JUST WANT ONE HOT MONTH, LEAVES!

Screw friendship.

But Leaves was looking at me all worriedly. "What's wrong, Mia?"

"Everyone just likes me as a friend! Like Michael!"

"You like Michael?" he said, with a strange edge to his voice.

I sniffed loudly, wiping my eyes and feeling like a bit of an idiot. It was embarrassing enough with just Michael and me knowing. "I used to, but then he told me he was gay and just liked me as a friend. And now you…"

"And now me what?" he asked softly.

"Nothing," I said, chewing on my lip nervously. "Wanna go get ice cream or something? I think Lilly's forgotten about me."

He nodded, still looking at me weirdly.

We didn't talk until we got in the elevator and Leaves grabbed for my hand. The last time we had held hands was during Spiderman 2 when the big octopus guy was flying all over the place, so I was kind of confused. Unless Leaves could see something I couldn't.

I glanced over my shoulder for a sign of some large man-octopus, but only saw the wall.

Leaves cleared his throat and looked at me. "You know you're not doomed to be the friend of everyone you like."

"It seems that way," I said, sighing.

Leaves grinned, looking down at the floor. "Believe me, it's not."

Something caught in my throat, and neither of us could meet the other's eyes. Which is really weird, as I'm totally in love with his eyes.

And him.

Oh, shoot. I've done it again, haven't I?

I've fallen for someone who doesn't want me.

Except Leaves says that's not true…but all he knows about is Michael. And obviously, Michael doesn't love me back. Unless that's not who Leaves was talking about…

"Mia," he said tensely. "I'm going to do something right now that may or may not creep you out. But I don't care…I mean, I probably will care later. But right now, I'm just gonna shut up and do it."

I didn't think it was possible for Leaves to stop talking. But he so did.

He stepped toward, pushing me gently against the elevator wall, and kissed me.

Boy, did he kiss me.

And I was not creeped out one little bit.

The doors slid open at the lobby and there stood the Drs. Moscovitz.

Leaves blushed and reached for my hand. "Sorry 'bout that."

And we just strolled out of there as they stared after us, the doors closing on their shocked faces.

Leaves pressed his lips against mine, right in the middle of the lobby, and I stopped laughing.

I was grinning like an idiot, though. Which was totally okay, as Leaves was wearing a goofy smile too.

"So how about that ice cream?" he said, slipping an arm around my waist. "Unless you want to go back upstairs to the Moscovitz _Casa of Lust_."

"Yeah, no. Not now that the Drs. Moscovitz are part of the party."

He chuckled and we walked outside together.

This was even better than being 'in love' with Michael. Because the feelings were actually reciprocated.

But it's not just that. I fell in love with my idea of Michael. If I had actually loved _him_, I should've known him well enough to see that he swings the other way.

I'm happy for him, though. And I'm happy for me.

Ecstatically happy.

[So...yeah. Thanks for reading. Even if I (and my co-author, who is sadly not available as I write this) totally freaked you out and you'll never see Michael Moscovitz the same way again (I only wish I had that much influence). And maybe now you'll look at Robert Carmine (who portrayed Michael in the movie) and go 'Oh, wait, he's gay, isn't he?' and I'll laugh and laugh.]


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